“Everyone wants someone to grow old with, and shouldn’t everyone have that chance?”
Sophia, the Golden Girls
Hello, and welcome to Late Life Insights: A series of short, informational pieces on all things aging. I’m Dr. Lisa Rill, your friendly social gerontologist and Executive Director of Senior Life Source. Today’s topic focuses on co-living.
If you are familiar with the Golden Girls, you know that Sophia often spoke the (hilarious) truth. To take her point a step further, what would life be like if that “someone” was a friend?
The reality today is that our lives might not provide us with the traditional structure of having children or a partner to care for us in the end. It’s easy to visualize this situation if you never had children or went through a divorce. However, even if you have children, you shouldn’t assume that they will be available to care for you. There is always the chance that your relationship becomes strained, or maybe your child was born with a disability…then there is the possibility that your child passes before you from a disease or an accident.
These different situations have led to a group of people known as “solo agers.” Solo agers are individuals over age 50 who either live alone, are not married or partnered in a long-term relationship, or have no living children or children they can depend on. Currently, they make up 12% of the population, and everyday more people are entering their “golden years” without a partner or children to help care for them. So, for individuals who want to age in place and not be alone, what is the alternative? One option is known as “co-living.”
Co-living looks a lot like “The Golden Girls” home. Each person has their own room and typically their own bathroom. Common areas like the kitchen and living room are shared with the other housemates. Some co-living spaces start with the owner of an existing home, which housemates move into. Others are built specifically as a shared living space with shared ownership (or equally sharing a lease).
This type of home-sharing is not to be confused with co-housing. Co-housing is an intentional community with shared spaces within a neighborhood that includes all ages, and people live in their own homes.
Some benefits of co-living:
- It’s economical because you can split the expenses (4 or 6 ways, depending on the number of housemates).
- Reduces the sense of loneliness through companionship and helps retain autonomy.
- Provides a support group, with shared chores and cooking, and increases safety (if you fall, someone will likely hear you call for help).
- Having someone to count on for transportation with medical appointments or picking up medication if you are bed ridden can be a big stress reliever.
- Ability to age in place longer.
If living with your friends, lounging on the lanai, and eating cheesecake sounds like your kind of life, then Golden Girls model of co-living might be right for you. But don’t worry, if you can’t convince your friends to move in with you, there are services that provide roommate matching for mature individuals interested in co-living.
Here are some tips to get you started for living your best Golden Girls life:
- If you are purchasing a home together, hire a lawyer to create a legal document for the joint purchase of the home (“tenants in common”).
- Have a legal operating agreement in place, clearly spelling out your expectations for each other, both in financial (ex. when rent is due, how it will be paid, what happens if someone needs to sell her share of the house, would you share expenses for a live-in caretaker or housekeeper if someone needs help) and everyday terms (ex. house rules defined in shared spaces, who will do the grocery shopping and is the food communal, what happens if someone needs extra care, are overnight/weekend guests allowed, and can you have social get togethers?).
- Have a contingency fund, should the house require a major repair like a new roof.
- Decide on a joint or separate accounts for expenses like utilities, taxes, maintenance, and yard work.
- If you are building a home, use a builder who specializes in designing homes for older adults (ex. single story, wheelchair-accessible, zero-threshold showers, extra wide doorways, a live-in suite for a caregiver).
- For an existing home make sure it is outfitted for aging in place (ex. stair treads or an elevator, shower grab bars). You can hire a Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist (CAPS) to address all your mobility or accessibility needs.
- Enlist the help of an interior designer to decorate the common spaces.
The takeaway: The loneliness of older people is a real problem, but it doesn’t have to be. We just need to be creative about the diverse ways to age in place. Interest in co-living will continue to grow as the number of solo agers increases and as more aging adults discover the benefits of shared housing.
Thank you for joining me for Late Life Insights from Senior Life Source, where we provide education on aging for all ages.
Lisa Rill, PhD
Executive Director, Senior Life Source
You covered so many interesting and helpful tips. I know I got a lot of information, which I can utilize in my work. Thank you.